CAREER SETBACKS

I haven't always been confident. I've struggled with confidence much of my life and It was a lot of work. I had to unlearn some negative mental habits that held me back. It isn't handed out like a party favor. Yet, some people seem to have the confidence gene while others work hard to achieve it and that can feel like a job in itself. So, why am I bringing all of this up? If there’s one thing I see holding people back in their job search, it’s not lack of experience—it’s lack of confidence. As a former recruiter and a current career coach, I’ve worked with incredibly qualified professionals in various stages of their career and they often share this one common challenge: they struggled to land interviews or offers, not because they weren’t capable, but because they didn’t communicate their value clearly. And possibly because they couldn't see their own value because they lacked confidence. Confidence in a job search isn’t about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about being able to say, “Here’s what I’ve done, and here’s how I can add to your bottom line" without hesitation. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, people can feel when you exhibit confidence and when it's missing. It shows up in your body like an unwanted guest and it's reflected in your overall presentation (verbal, tone of voice, interest & level of enthuiasm, response to questions).  When confidence is low, people tend to: Undersell their experience Apply only to “safe” roles Freeze or overthink in interviews When confidence is strong, everything shifts. You speak more clearly, you show up with intention, and your potential naturally shines through. And here’s the part I always remind my clients: confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s built—through preparation, practice, and learning how to tell your story effectively. It's a process that takes time, resilience and patience - with oneself. Building self-confidence requires: ❤️ Being your own champion ❤️ Positive actions ❤️ Internal and external resources ❤️ Belief that change is a law of nature ❤️ A receptive heart and mind If your job search isn’t getting results, don’t just rewrite your resume. Take a look at how you’re showing up. Confidence might be the missing piece.

As a career coach, my clients tell me the most difficult part of being a job seeker is managing their feelings of worry, insecurity, and isolation. For some, staying positive is easier than others. As a person with anxiety, I work overtime to stay positive. It takes effort and mindfulness but it certainly can be done. When negative thoughts start to spiral into rumination, I take time out to meditate. That's what helps me. Doing what's necessary to get to a more positive mental state looks different for everyone. Some people find that exercising, spending time in nature, practicing gratitude, and.pursuing creative hobbies are helpful ways to foster more positivity. Being mindful of good self care, acceptance, self-affirming rituals, networking, and surrounding oneself with positive and supportive people are some great psychological tools and specific things job seekers can do to manage the job seeking/career transition effectively. I'm aware that making changes in our behavior and mindset don't always happen as quickly as we'd like. We're all a bundle of habits which is our human nature. It's important to be gentle and kind with yourself when trying to change a habit you've had over a lifetime for a healthier habit that will result in more positive outcomes. Often, it's having resilience and not giving up - this too is a practice and doing a little something every day is better than doing nothing at all. One step at a time... The energy that you bring to an interview and beyond is palpable and often is the first and last impression an interviewer is left with. If you have a positive mindset, you're more likely to leave a positive impression, getting you closer to a positive outcome. If you're a current job seeker or in a career transition and are struggling to maintain a positive image and attitude, contact me at lrcareercoach@gmail.com to learn about my coaching program that can help you get on the right track to a more fulfilling and successful career. "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." ~ Winston Churchill

Looking for a job is a job in itself. There's research, networking, resume tweaking, job applications, interviewing, follow up, waiting for an offer, more follow up, negotiating the offer......and on and on.... Have I left anything out? Perhaps, ruminating about all of it? It's exhausting just thinking about the entire and daunting process of job/career search. Does any of this resonate with you? If you're one of those rare people who have had one job your entire career, you've been spared what some consider hair raising. If you're offered a job and done your due diligence, you'll ask yourself (before you accept) Is their mission statement aligned with my values? Can I relate to the people I'll be working and collaborating with or do they seem like aliens? Will my talent and skills be recognized and appreciated? Does this role allow for continued learning and skill development? Will the style of management be conducive to productivity to thrive and enjoy career satisfaction? Is there a culture that supports transparency and open dialogue? Company culture is VERY important when considering an offer. Ask yourself, "what are my wants and needs that will bring me career satisfaction and success?" This question/self reflection can be very helpful when making career decisions. Ask yourself if you'll be out of your element or does this feel like a comfortable shoe that "fits". (as much as possible in a new position). If your gut tells you it's not comfortable, find yourself another pair of shoes. "Company culture is the silent language that echoes loudest in an organization's halls" ~ Enamul Hague ~

For some, a job interview is enough to make your skin crawl. As a career coach who has conducted hundreds of mock interviews, I find.this to be too often the case. I consider an interview like a first date (without the flirtatious looks). However, many interviews are not in-person or virtual. Sometimes a preliminary interview is conducted over the phone which has its pros and cons. An in-person/virtual interview allows the person being interviewed (interviewee?) the advantage of reading and picking up the interviewer's facial and body cues (and vice versa). Obviously, this is not something one can do over the phone. If you're good at "reading" voices, the phone interview might work well for you. Here's the big HOWEVER: treat the phone interview as the real deal. Be prepared to be asked the same kind of questions that might be asked of you in an in-person/virtual interview. I believe it's better to be over prepared than ill prepared. Wishing you many opportunities and good luck in your journey! PHONE INTERVIEW TIPS (a few) Be clear who is making the call and at what time Schedule a time you know you'll have privacy and adequate time to talk Speak where there are no distractions and noise (TV, human beings, pets) Have your resume in front of you (this is an advantage over the face to face interview) Take notes (only if you're good at multitasking) - another advantage over face to face Send thank you via email Consider an interview the most formal date you'll ever have. “I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If you hadn’t been prepared when the opportunity came along, you wouldn’t have been lucky.” ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

The Interview question that most job seekers struggle to answer is, "Tell me about yourself". As a career coach specializing in interview preparation, I've learned that many job seekers have difficulty answering this question, unsure of what information to share and what to leave out. And too often, the answer is either too short, leaving out important aspects of one's background or too long, telling an epic story like "Gone With the Wind".  Oten this request, "Tell Me About Yourself" is the first question the interviewer will ask and it can set the tone for the rest of the interview, depending on how well you answer. This question is about your story - a snapshot of who you are, how and why you are their ideal candidate. If you don't "get it", it can throw you off and create unnecessary nervousness. This question is a short "window" of opportunity to showcase your skills and experience and what makes you unique. Prepare a concise and compelling response that highlights your accomplishments and qualifications. Remember to keep your answer focused on your professional life and avoid sharing overly personal information (TMI). Oversharing personal information often leads into inappropriateness (the subject of another blog post). Because this is an open-ended question, it's too easy to go off on a tangent, and get into the weeds. When this happens, you lose your audience and it's challenging to get their attention back since many people have a short attention span . They become easily distracted with a "wandering monkey mind", jumping from one thought to another, much like a monkey swinging from tree to tree. Not to mention, that in the current job market, hiring managers and HR professionals have limited time. Stay focused and be intentional. Include relevant achievements that will demonstrate how you can add to their company bottom line. As a job seeker, it's your responsibility to know what your accomplishments are, why they were significant and the impact they've had in your career and the companies that employed you. When you prepare a thoughtful response to this interview question, you'll be better equipped to impress the interviewer. And being prepared gets you closer to a job offer! "By Failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail" ~ Benjamin Franklin ~

Protect yourself when the unexpected happens -like a job layoff you didn't see coming. Perhaps the boss you loved left without warning, leaving you with the new boss from Hell. Understandably, you're fearful about job security and your future feels uncertain. Many of us feel this uncertainty especially in the current employment climate. While you can't control what other people do, You CAN control your own actions, creating a greater sense of empowerment and confidence. If you don't safeguard what you value, you'll be unprotected from elements outside yourself - like being caught in a storm without shelter. Feeling vulnerable and anxious about what could happen next often arise - a feeling many of us have experienced too often. You don't have to be a victim by the actions of others - especially in your job. If you see the oncoming storm, prepare yourself before you become emotionally paralyzed, overwhelmed, and stuck. When these feelings kick in, it's hard to see beyond our rising negative thoughts and fear. Protect yourself: ✅ Have an updated resume ✅ Always be networking ✅ Never burn bridges ✅ Engage with your connections Avoid leaving yourself vulnerable to outside forces. “The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Sometimes , our best friends are not people. If you’re a crazy dog lover like me, you get it. Unfortunately, I live in an apartment in NYC and I’m not allowed dogs but that doesn’t stop me from loving up every dog I encounter in my neighborhood. And if you’re a cat owner, perhaps your best friend is your cat. As an animal lover, I don’t find this unusual at all. And I imagine there are millions that would agree that would consider their pet their best friend. Who else loves you unconditionally? Who else runs around in circles or purrs whenever you come home? As long as you feed them and give them some attention, they love you and are loyal to the end. If you’re a cat or dog owner, more than likely, you don’t regard your cat or dog as your pet. They’re family. Speaking of family… Meet Tucker – this beautiful, sweet blonde labrador who lives with my sister and brother-in-law in New Hampshire. It wasn’t always a “Dog’s Life” for Tucker, at least not until my sister adopted him. From the moment she saw Tucker, she was determined to give him a better life – filled with love, play, lots of exercise, good food, lots of attention and a place to put his head down at night feeling loved and safe. I don’t think people are the only sentient beings who need to feel love and safety. It’s an assumption to think that animals don’t have a soul. And now? One only has to see the love Tucker and my sister they have for each other. It’s beautiful to watch the devotion my sister and Tucker have for each other. As busy as her life is, she’s never too busy for her best friend. She says they’re soulmates. Crazy? Who cares – they give each other so much joy. Tucker has been the best teacher for my sister. He reminds her of the importance of promises, being present, having fun in life, living in the NOW, and loving unconditionally. And he loves affection, even when he just wants to sleep. Somehow, he knows that it makes you happy to love him. He’s patient and sweet to his core. Never underestimate where you’ll find your best friend and how much they can alter your life – even if they don’t speak a word. Love shows up in many ways, and often in the most unimaginable. Tucker has changed our lives forever – and for the better. We love you Tuck xoxo I hope YOU have a Tucker in your life.

Sometimes “letting go” is the best thing to do. I know what that feels like and it’s not as simple as saying “ok, now I’m going to let go of this thing I’m holding on to so tightly and want to control.” Unfortunately, it’s not that easy and real change doesn’t work that way. Letting go is no exception. The fact remains that some things in life are beyond our control. Most of us know this, yet we still try to control outcomes, change a situation, change a person, or change their mind. I think it must be our human condition to want things to go our way all the time – a desire to live without suffering and discomfort. Wanting to change what might be unchangeable may not be the most creative and best use of our time. And it can lead to frustration and inner turmoil. It seems to be a law of nature when we struggle with something, we meet resistance – mostly ourselves. It’s like coming to a dead end and there’s no place to go. Please don’t spend another moment with things you cannot change. Knowing when to put down your struggle is not the same as giving up. Time is so precious and the inability to let go of what you cannot change might be holding you back. There’s a freeing up and sense of peace to let go of what might be tying you in a knot. If you catch yourself wanting to control or change a situation, ask yourself “is this doable? Am i just spinning my wheels? Is this my ego wanting to be behind the steering wheel and can I really control this? If the answer is no, it just might be time to move on. And remember to keep moving forward…

My two days in solitary were tranquil, insightful, reflective. An opportunity to get closer to myself. To hear only one voice – my own. I’ve come to enjoy the spaciousness of silence in solitary and the value in it. I find without it, the voice in my head is too loud, busy with noise that doesn’t serve me well. Noise that brings on my anxiety, and distracting thoughts. As I continue to develop and grow, I seem to have a deeper appreciation of just being still. And the benefits of being in solitary are immeasurable. For some, that’s uncomfortable I was not thrust into solitary confinement as in prison. Although, many people might look at it that way. I was on a solitary retreat, unplugged from all communication. I chose to do this, knowing that it could be challenging – a deeper looking. No distractions, except for the voice in my head that kept saying, “maybe I should be doing something.” But the point of a solitary is to unwind from the noise and busyness of our daily lives. And for some, that may be doing nothing. Yet so much happens in the “nothingness.” Spending time with myself on a solitary retreat, shut off from the “outside world” was an opportunity to get more intimate with myself. If I can’t be intimate with me, how can I be intimate with others? And I believe much of our happiness hinges on our ability to connect with others in a very authentic and human way. But I think intimacy has to start with ourselves. I read, slept, meditated and sat with whatever thoughts came into my mind. I can’t say that every hour was a picnic. Because not every thought was pleasant. But I sat with what was. Not with fear, but with kindness and curiosity. I didn’t try to change anything or do anything. That’s something novel for me. There’s a sense of liberation looking inwards, however difficult that may be. There’s a freedom in coming to grips with who I am and learning to like myself a bit more, in spite of my imperfections. All of us deserve to find that kind of inner peace. I gave myself the gift of my time. I hope you can find what gifts you need. And then give them to yourself.